How to Give a Romantic Massage

Romantic massages are more intimate and sensual than the average massage, and they can set the scene for a relaxing and couple-focused evening. Ambiance is important when setting up for a romantic massage, as is knowing how and where to massage. Remember to take your time, focus on your partner, and enjoy connecting with them in a new and exciting way.


[Edit]Creating a Romantic Ambiance

  1. Set up the bed or couch with clean, soft sheets and pillows. If youre giving a massage at home, chances are you dont have a massage table, but that is okay! Pick a spot that is clean and clear of clutter, and lay down a set of clean sheets for your partner to lay on. Dont forget to grab 1 or 2 pillows for beneath their head, back, or knees as needed.[1]
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    • If the room isnt clean, take 10 minutes to tidy up and put away clutter. Both you and your partner will feel more relaxed if the space is neat.
    • Use 2 sheetsone for your partner to lay on top of, and 1 for them to put over themselves at the beginning of the massage in case theyre chilly.
  2. Adjust the temperature in the room to a comfortable setting. This will depend on your partnerif they always run cold, turn the temperature up a little bit so the room is warmer than usual. If theyre usually warm, turn it down so theyll be cool and comfortable.[2]
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    • A space heater or fan can help make a big difference in the rooms temperature if you dont have much time.
  3. Dim the lights and set up a few candles for romantic mood lighting. Glaring overhead lights wont do much for the mood, so turn those off and use candles for lighting instead. If you need more lighting, turn on a lamp. You could even cover a lamp with a sheer scarf to dim the light even more.[3]
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    • For a special touch, light your partners favorite scented candle.
  4. Turn off your phones and all electronics so you wont be interrupted. If you dont want to turn your phone off, put it on do not disturb or airplane mode so that you wont get any notifications during the massage. Put it off to the side or in a drawer so you wont be tempted to check it. Ask your partner to do the same.[4]
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    • Take this time as an opportunity to disconnect from work, school, and other commitments so you can focus on connecting with your partner.
  5. Play ambient music to create a relaxed and calm atmosphere. Avoid music with a fast or heavy beat. Instead, opt for instrumental or ambient music for a calming effect.[5]
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    • Check out whatever streaming service you usemany have pre-made playlists or stations that are made for relaxation. Search for relaxing music or ambient music to see what is available.
    • Zen, yoga, and meditation are other keywords that could help you find the right music for the occasion.
  6. Spend time connecting with your partner before you begin. You could enjoy a nice glass of wine or take a bubblebath together. Or, simply spend a few minutes holding hands and talking.[6]
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    • If your partner doesnt already know, clue them in that youre planning on giving them a romantic massage. They may want to take a shower or change their clothes before you begin.

[Edit]Giving the Massage

  1. Rub a natural oil or cream between your hands before you begin. Sweet almond oil, coconut oil, and jojoba oil are good options that shouldnt irritate your partners skin. Use to start and add more to your hands when they get dry. You must rub it between your hands to warm it up before you begin.[7]
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    • Add a few drops of essential oils to the carrier oil or cream to give it a pleasing scent. Lavender, peppermint, bergamot, and sandalwood are great options. of a carrier oil first. Undiluted essential oils could irritate the skin.}}
  2. Use long strokes with gentle pressure, starting at the neck and shoulders. Have your partner lay on their stomach so you can work on their shoulders and back first. Remember, your goal isnt to give your partner a deep-tissue massage or work out their sore muscles. Its to awaken their body and gently touch them all over.[8]
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    • Check in with your partner to see if the amount of pressure youre using is good. They may want a deeper massage or prefer less pressure.
    • Let your hands glide over their skin. Count slowly in your head to 20 for each section that you massage, like their neck, left shoulder, right shoulder, the middle of the back, etc.
  3. Spend time massaging their lower back. Stand or sit so that you and your partner are facing the same direction. Put your hands flat on their lower back, near their hips, and push forward toward the middle of their back. Count to 20 as you massage this area, but feel free to do it for longer if your partner likes it.[9]
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    • If your partner is comfortable with it, you could also give them a gentle butt massage. Use your elbow to gently put pressure on your partners butt, starting at the top and working your way down to the bottom. Repeat on the opposite side.
  4. Massage their arms and legs so that every part of their body is relaxed. Part of the romantic massage is making your partner feel very relaxed but also aware of their body. Gently rub your hands up and down their arms and longs with long, firm movements. Have them start on their stomach as you massage the backs of their legs, then ask them to flip over to their back so you can massage their arms and the fronts of their legs.[10]
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    • Remember to count to 20 for each part of the body. The upper left arm, upper right arm, lower left arm, lower right arm, and so on should each get their allotment of time.
  5. Remember to give their feet some TLC. Add more cream or oil to your hands, and gently rub the bottom of their feet in large circles. Make small circles around their ankles, and gently massage between your partners toes.[11]
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    • Depending on how ticklish your partner is, you may have to skip this part. But if they enjoy it, its worth spending some time on.
  6. Work on their inner thighs with a firm but gentle pressure. The inner thighs are very sensitive and are also a sensual area for both men and women. Focus on the area between the knee and the groin. Use gentle but firm strokes and count to 20 on each side.[12]
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    • How high up toward the groin you take the massage is between you and your partner. If they give you any non-verbal signs, like putting their legs together or moving away from you, you may be moving too high up their leg.
  7. Take your time before massaging their more sensitive or sensual places. A romantic massage can be just that, or it could be fantastic foreplay before something more sexual. Start with a gentle full-body massage before getting close to those more sensitive areas, like the breasts, the groin, or the butt.[13]
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  8. Let your partner relax after the massage and take their time getting up. Chances are, your partner is going to be in a state of maximum relaxation and wont want the lights flipped on and the door flung open as soon as its over. Allow them to lay still for a while, and take that opportunity to do some relaxing yourself!
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    • If your partner fell asleep during the massage, let them rest!


  • If you want to join in on the massage fun yourself, book a massage therapist to come into your home and give you and your partner a couples massage.
  • Encourage your partner to drink extra water after their massage. The massage could have released toxins from their muscles, and the extra water will help flush everything out.

[Edit]Things Youll Need

  • Clean sheets
  • Pillows
  • Candles
  • Ambient playlist
  • Natural cream, lotion, or oil
  • Essential oils (optional)

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